fairouz

I don't know how I always get stuck in these crazy work dilemmas but I've been agonizing over this for the better part of the weekend. Now I'm up ridiculously early thinking about it and trying to decide what to do.
I've worked at the state hospital for just over 1 year. I put in my notice and my last actual working day is Sunday, October 7. I resigned mostly because I was angry -- much of the staff there are malicious gossips and I've never worked in an environment like that before. It's toxic. It irritates me, perhaps more than it should and I certainly realize that my difficulties there have as much to do with me as it does with everyone else. I liked my job there, though. I was good at it. I have friends there. I'm reluctant to leave because it's easy, comfortable, and with good state benefits. I'm considering retracting my resignation, staying 50% (working 3-4 days a week, maybe with a day or two at hospice per week for balance), getting back on my medication (!) and maybe just not getting involved with the bullshit drama (which reminds me I need to talk to Christy), and perhaps going back to school.
That is option 1.
Option #2:
I've tentatively accepted a job at a state correctional institute in Delaware. It's a pretty large prison and houses everyone from guys at the work release camp or vop (violation of parole), to pre-trial housing, to the actual housing units (minimum, mod, max security). I'd be responsible for giving meds, taking care of sick people in the infirmary, doing intakes when people come into the prison and need blood testing and physicals, and responding to crises on the tiers and in the yard. The job is either a 0.4 benefitted position (which there means I work 4 days a week and qualify for full benefits) or I can take a full-time 4p-12a position (5 days per week). I'm not a state employee, there, the healthcare providers are contractual. It's a men's prison, in Georgetown (about 25 miles from here). This is a much more medically-focused position than I've had in a LONG time and that is both intimidating and exciting. I can't remember the last time I started an IV or drew blood. I can't lie, I'm also excited about going to work in a prison. The prison is old. The medical area is antiquated, I believe the charting is not yet computerized, and they don't even have a voicemail system. Which is crazy, but whatevs. The money is better than where I am now.
Option #3:
I shadowed for a brief period of time at Potomac Ridge Behavior Center, which used to be called Chesapeake Youth Center. This is a residential treatment center for troubled kids. On the surface the job seems perfect for me -- it's a center for kids, some developmentally disabled and some of average cognition. It's not the same as Kennedy, to be sure, but it's probably the closest I'll come to it on the shore. It would be 12 hour shifts (thank you Jesus), 7p - 7a, 3 days per week. An awesome schedule. I'd have to work every other or every third weekend. The bad thing is that that place is complete chaos. They are short of nurses and psych counselors. The kids are so bad because there aren't enough people to enforce rules and structure. The kids have broken into the nursing station, they fight, they bully each other and they have a more colorful vocabulary than I do. And that's saying something. Right now there is no nurse manager and no 3-11 supervisor (the person who was transitioning to the role of 3-11 supervisor from her current role of nurse manager quite with no notice the night before I shadowed). I would only have to deal with them for 4 hours or so before they went to bed. The daytime nurse gives out the evening meds and I generally only have to deal with the morning meds before I leave. It's across the street from the state hospital, so still a 30 mile commute, but I'd only be making it 3 days a week instead of 4 or 5. It's a benefitted position. I could still work at hospice a day or two if I wanted to do that, or I could take 4 days off a week if I wanted to do THAT. I could go back to school and it would be an ideal situation for taking classes on my days off and maybe doing some school stuff at work. The counselors I hung out with were AWESOME and told me that the only problems people usually had were with staff, not kids, and that most of the negative, trouble-making staff were gone.
The money is still up in the air. They hadn't contacted me since I shadowed, so I felt ok accepting the prison job, and then I received an email from her over the weekend. I will see what the money is and then I'll make a final decision, I guess.
So there it is. The work dilemma. I think staying at the state because it's safe and comfortable would be a mistake, because I really wasn't happy in that environment. I can't be around that kind of crushing negativity all the time.
But I still don't know what to do.

The iPod seems to have repaired itself. I did as ppsassygrl suggested and let the battery die and then recharged it. It's ok at the moment but I haven't really tried using it. I had a 2 mile run scheduled for today but am going to skip it due to the wonders of the female reproductive system. I remember hearing about a pill you can take where you'll only get your cycle once every 3-4 months. I may look into that. I can only take so many health appointments at one time, though, and I have a derm appt scheduled for the end of this month (think good thoughts for me) and then I think I need to have my eyes examined.
I'm working today and tomorrow (I'll likely be charge both days) and then am off Friday and Saturday. I had originally requested off to do something for St. Patrick's Day but now I don't think I will. I'm trying to save money for our vacation but, more than that, I have NO alcohol tolerance anymore. It's no fun drinking with your friends when you are toast after a beer and a half.
Trust me on that one.
That's all. I had breakfast and took some naproxen and now I think I'm going to go relax for awhile with the heating pad*.







*and when I say "heating pad" what I mean is "dog".

Yesterday I went to the gym and did a low-weight version of the full-body routine I used to do 3x/week (before I started running, back when I wanted to be a powerlifter RAWR!). This is how it went (each set is 15 reps each):
A leisurely 10 min warm up walk on the treadmill
Dumbbell squats, 2 sets @ 10# (one 10# dumbbell, full depth each rep)
Bench press, 2 sets @ 20#
Overhead shoulder press, 2 sets @ 20#
Cable row, 2 sets @ 30#
Lat pulldown, 2 sets @ 30#
Crunches (2 sets of regular ones and 1 set on each side for obliques)
Lots and lots of stretching, before weights, in between sets, and afterward.

Let me just say, for essentially unweighted squats, they really killed my quads. I was wincing going up and down the stairs. Today's run was difficult because my quads were heavy and sore.

So today was a 3 miler. I went to the park where it is 60+ degrees and sunny. It occurred to me that the iPod has a stopwatch on it and I used it for the first mile, before it went tits up. Now I can't reset it or anything. Those apple fuckers.
Mile 1: 9:36
Miles 2 and 3: anyone's guess. Judging by my not-very-specific watch, each lap was right around 10 minutes each. This has me thinking that I must be missing HALF the trail because I'm nowhere near fit enough to run a sub-10 minute mile.
Am I?
Wow!
Someone talk me out of getting a new nano. Hurry!

and I'm still waiting for that OMGWTFBBQ winter storm. Right now it's warm and rainy.

And here's a picture of my sausage kitty, Fleur, eating ice cream from a spoon:



You'll notice the ice cream is pretty much gone. Piglet. It was cake batter, too.

Nothing news-worthy is going on in my life. I am taking the week off running because I'm "under the weather", as they say. My cold symptoms have mostly dissipated but I still feel fatigued, generally unwell and rather like I've been run over by a truck. I'm off today and tomorrow. My BFF is going shopping with me tonight because it's, well, February 13 and I don't have anything for S. yet. She's so difficult to buy for.
*cries*
Work is work. One of my favorite patients is being discharged on Thursday morning and I hope all goes well for her and she's able to stay discharged. The last time she was gone less than 24 hours but she seems pretty stable and future-oriented right now so I'm hoping for the best.
I'm still agonizing over my hair. I'll be getting something done to it this weekend. I'm not sure what yet but it will be different. I'll post pics.
That's all. I told you shit was boring.

No running today. I woke up sick. I took Stacey's advice and used some of the homeopathic nasal swabs but I still feel like shit. I'll be going to work anyway. Hopefully I can make it through this weekend but if I must call out, I will.
Since I have nothing else to do, I've been considering what to do with my hair.
Here's what I've come up with so far:
This short choppy shag:


With this cropped fringe:


Perhaps an inch or so longer, perhaps not. I don't know, I also really like the side-swept bangs in the first picture but I'm currently obsessed with the idea of baby bangs. I've also decided to stop coloring my whole head and am going to try for light brown or red highlights.
Suggestions/comments/input?

Unless you run hardcore...

I was the only one in the park today, except for the parks & rec maintenance guy. That's not unusual, during the week, and it is particularly not unusual on a day like today -- snow on the ground and temperatures in the high teens. I got all the way to the park ("all the way" = about 2 miles from my house) and realized I'd left my iPod here, so no running podcasts to listen to.
When I started, it was cold. Frigid kind of cold. I was about halfway through my first mile and I'm ashamed to admit I was dreaming of my toasty gym and wondering if I should go there and hop on the treadmill. I came to my senses, though. I went around the pondside trail 3+ times (the trail is about 1 mile long) in 30 minutes, did a little stretching and went home.
On the second (or third?) loop, I stepped on a tree limb that shot up and snapped off on the back of my leg. Ouch. I didn't stop to look then but did have a look when I got home and I now have a tree limb shaped hole in my leg. This trail running is treacherous.
And THIS is me, being the crazy grinning badass that I am:

I have a friend who is a flake. No, seriously. She's the standard friend that almost everyone has, the kind of getting-on-her-feet friend that never quite gets there. She has crazy relationship drama, she is emotionally and financially unstable, she is still on my cell phone plan from 4 years ago when I offered to have her on there for a year until she could save up for her own deposit.
She calls me all the time when something is wrong. When there's nothing for me to fix, she doesn't. She asks for my advice and doesn't take it. She swears up and down she'll be there for something and never is.
This morning, for example. She swears she's going to run this 5 mile race with me in March and hasn't begun to train yet. I'm not sure that she could run from her car to her apartment, actually. (Oh, wait, she doesn't have a car. The latest one was also repossessed.) She asked me to get up early so that we could run around 9:30 am, then she'd go home and take a nap. So this morning her girlfriend text messages me to say that she's not going.
Meh, ok. Whatever. I should know by now not to depend on her and I guess I do. I didn't really expect her to go. It would have been nice, but I didn't expect it. It's ok, anyway, I'll go for an early run in the snow. YAY me.
I did quite a bit of juggling last night at work to be able to be off on Thursday. We're going to a Victoria's Secret lingerie model event at a place here in town. I'm excited about that (I'm excited whenever there are half-nekkid women involved).
That's the all. I'm off running.
ALSO: why are clothes exponentially more comfortable when they are falling apart? The pullover that Stacey's mom got her is seriously falling apart. I'm wearing a red shirt underneath and you can see the red through the holes at the zipper, the hem line, the shoulder seams. I never want to part with this garment, it is so warm and comfy. Perfect running apparel. Ok, I'm going now. Srsly.

I know, everyone and their mother is posting about how fucking cold it is. I never said I was particularly creative.
I don't dress for the weather. Generally, in the dead of winter, I'll go out in a long-sleeved t-shirt or a track jacket. Today, however, was subfreezing with a wind chill nearing negative values. That's hella cold, for me. So this is me going to work (please ignore the funny look on my shiny face):



Hat crocheted by Stacey, and scarf knitted by yours truly! Gloves store bought (I'm not that advanced).

And, just for a comparison picture, here's me & the happy hooker a little warmer:



Poor quality pic. I apologize. She's so goddamned cute I can't stand it.

*dies*

Well, I've had my daily iced coffee and now I'm off to the gym. Today is a cross-training day and I have a date with the elliptical. It's fucking cold outside and I *so* don't want to go.
I had a horrendously awful weekend. Well, Saturday was awful. I won't go into details but I was a raving lunatic wielding a hatchet. Sunday wasn't so bad -- it started out with a sub-freezing run (yay!) and ended with some drunken post-superbowl sex. Woot!
I'm thinking of starting that sex filter. Anyone interested?
I'm off to the gym before I change my mind. Info on vacation and other stuff forthcoming.